2020 Focused: Marriage

Ryan Cox • March 20, 2020

“40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce.” ~ American Psychological Association [1]

“Why are divorce rates higher in religiously conservative ‘red’ states?” ~ Council on Contemporary Families [2]

“Conservative Christians Divorce More Than Other Groups” ~ The Huffington Post [3]

“[C]ommunities with large concentrations of conservative Protestants actually produce higher divorce rates than others.” ~ American Journal of Sociology [4]

My wife and I celebrate 10 years of marriage this March. We are so glad we never let any of these types of reports influence us, except to reaffirm our commitment to our marital covenant.

The reason none of these reports should influence anyone is because they are all a LIE!

The world, and maybe even the church, has told couples for years that they have a 50/50 chance of staying married, if they want to risk it.

How encouraging.

Time after time after time, young people have been told these terrible, discouraging things about marriage, and all along they have been nothing but falsehoods.

A few years ago, researchers Shaunti Feldhahn and Tally Whitehead published the results of years of study in a book entitled The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths About Marriage and Divorce. (shaunti.com/tb-books/good-news-marriage/)

Providing detailed research with numerous studies and sources, here are some of their conclusions: [5]

  • The actual divorce rate has never been close to 50%.
  • Currently, 72% of married people are still married to their first spouse!
  • Of the remaining 28%, many ended by death, not divorce.
  • The actual divorce rate for first marriages is closer to 20% and about 31% for all marriages (first and subsequent).
  • Surveys show that 80% of marriages are “happy”, with many showing 91%-97% rated as “happy”.
  • 93% of married couples say that if they had it to do over, they would marry their spouse again.
  • Couples who attend church services weekly see their chances of divorce drop 27%.
  • Couples who pray together see their chances of divorce drop by 50%!
  • For remarriages, 65% of women in their second marriage are still married to their spouse. Of the 35% who are not still married to their second spouse, a significant percentage of those marriages ended in death.
  • In 82% of struggling marriages, one partner is unaware of his or her spouse’s unhappiness. This is why for those who stick to it, after 5 years they rate their marriage as “very happy”.

Sadly, though, our culture has done such a good job attacking marriage that now 74% of “first unions” are those who are “living together” out of wedlock (it was 58% in the 1990s). [6] It should be noted that 85% of couples living together eventually get married by age 46, usually because of child custody, tax benefits, etc. The end result, however, does not excuse the sin (Hebrews 13:4).

The point, though, is that there is incredibly good news with which to encourage couples who are contemplating marriage! The church should be about promoting the wonders and benefits of marriage! After all, it was designed and established by God Himself (Gen. 2:18-25, Matthew 19:4-6).


[1] http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/

[2] https://contemporaryfamilies.org/impact-of-conservative-protestantism-on-regional-divorce-rates/

[3] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/24/conservative-christian-divorce_n_813137.html

[4] https://ifstudies.org/blog/findings-on-red-and-blue-divorce-are-not-exactly-black-and-white/

[5] Shaunti Feldhahn with Tally Whitehead, The Good News About Marriage , Multnomah Books, 2014, pp. 130-133.

[6] Ibid., pp. 139-140.

By Ryan Cox June 18, 2025
Moses & History (part 3)
lined up books
By Matt Miles June 18, 2025
Over the course of time a person can accumulate many things. Most of the stuff we collect is meaningless to most everyone else, but when a person collects books, they can be treasured for a lifetime and even beyond. In this age of digital media, physical books seem to be less important to many people. Digital books are searchable, and copy/paste functions make it easy to use those great quotes. Yet, there is still something great about a physical book, things you can’t get digitally: the turning of pages, the feel of it in your hand, and the “book” smell. For our founder Dr. Sharp, physical books could never be replaced by digital. While my collection of books is growing each year, it is dwarfed by Dr. Sharp’s collection. Over the years he collected thousands of titles for research and enjoyment. Through the course of his ministry he had to sell his book collection a couple of different times to support his family, only to start collecting again when he was able to do so. When Doc passed his office full of packed bookshelves to me and said he would clear the shelves, I laughed out loud at the prospect of having loads of empty bookshelves. So I urged him to instead leave his books for my, and anyone else’s, use. Little did I understand that the four bookcases in my office were only a fraction of his entire collection. A couple of years back when Doc moved from his house, it was decided that his book collection would be stored at the office. Our thought was to establish a library, yet none of us had time to plan, organize and catalog all 79 boxes of books. They sat piled in his office until last year when my daughter Megan joined our ministry. She has a love of books, both reading and writing. So we offered her the task of cataloging and establishing Doc’s library. Can you picture me, a bbq lover, being offered a table full of succulent smoked offerings - brisket, sausage, ribs, pulled pork, chicken, turkey and all sides? Yep, that was Megan’s response to the library. For over four months she cataloged and organized the entire collection. The Dr. G. Thomas Sharp Library was completed earlier this year in his old office space, with overflow into my office. The entire 2700+ volume agglomeration is digitally cataloged for searching and locating. As you might expect, there is an extensive collection of creation and evolution subject matter, yet the library is full of many different categories. It very much reflects Doc’s love of gaining knowledge and research. An extensive commentary collection and multiple Biblical reference sections are invaluable to our ministry. There is even a whole bookcase housing books that are over 100 years old. Our desire was not to just house books but to also make a place of honor and inspiration. One wall exhibits Doc’s many diplomas, and throughout the library we have placed personal memorabilia of the mission trips he took over the years. Come, grab a book, relax in the sitting area and allow Doc’s handwritten notes from the margins or post-it notes bring a smile to your face. For those who may be more ambitious, Doc's office chair resides at the credenza for anyone to sit and be inspired to study. This is a place to honor Doc’s life and love for books. We at CTF have already utilized this great resource for further study, and we are so thankful to Diane and their family for donating these books for continued Kingdom growth. Blessings.
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